Thursday, October 22, 2009
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Advantages Of Being Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Ten Husband Still A Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Monday, October 19, 2009
then I saw you, and my jaw hit the floor.
I picked it back up, and got myself together,
and knew right then and there... I could be with you forever.
At that moment, when time stood still,
I knew I liked you, and I always will.
The very first time I looked into your eyes,
I saw who you were and so much more,
I looked straight through to your heart, the most essential part,
and I knew I'd found what I've been looking for.
I knew, one day, I would see you again,
while praying the whole time, that I could become your friend.
You made me feel, like I've never felt before,
it felt like butterflies in my stomach having a war.
There's something about you, that makes it hard to look away,
it's hard not to stare, at your beautiful eyes and hair,
and it makes me want to stay.
There's only one of you, you're one of a kind,
that's what makes you special, and keeps you on my mind.
The world is filled with beautiful things,
we have proof that this is true,
but in my mind when it comes to this,
none can compare to you.
The sound of your voice, is like a melody playing in my mind,
that let's me know for sure...
never again will I find someone like you.
When I look at you, you know what I see?
I see the definition, of beauty.
Just talking to you for a moment, can change the way I feel,
just the sound of your voice, has the power to heal.
My life wouldn't be the same, without you in it,
if I could I would, be with you each and every minute.
Just having you here, makes the world a better place,
and the pain from being without you,
is erased the moment I see your beautiful face.
Everything about you, and everything you do,
is what makes you absolutely perfect, and draws me near you.
You've become someone that is now, more special to me,
than anyone else in the whole wide world, could ever be.
Ohh, and your smile, it puts me under a spell,
and reminds me of for who my heart has fell.
It brightens up the whole world around you, as well as your face,
an image that no other can compare to, or ever erase -
from my mind.
Never again could god create something
so perfect and true, he must have had something
truly special in mind - when he made you.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"
"Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers."
"Foresake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shall drink it with pleasure."
"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."
"A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his hand round your shoulder - watch out!"
"My friends are my estate. Forgive me then the avarice to hoard them. They tell me those who were poor early have different views of gold. I don't know how that is. God is not so wary as we, eles He would give us no friends, lest we forget Him."
"The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them."
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'M SORRY THAT YOU LIED...
I'M SORRY THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAID WASN'T TRUE...
I'M SORRY THAT I TRIED...
I'M SORRY THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T CARE...
I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH...
I'M SORRY THAT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE...
I'M SORRY THAT I LIKED YOU SO...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU HATED ME...
I'M SORRY, THAT I DIDN'T KNOW...
IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU BROKE MY HEART...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU LEFT ME...
I'M SORRY THAT WE HAD TO BE SO FAR APART...
I'M SORRY THAT THIS IS THE WAY IT HAD TO BE...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU MADE ME CRY...
I'M SORRY THAT I LOVED YOU...
I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WHY...
THE END HAD TO COME AND WE HAD TO SAY GOODBYE...
I'M SORRY THAT I LOVE YOU NO LONGER...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU WANT ME NOW...
I'M SORRY THAT BREAKING MY HEART JUST MADE ME STRONGER...
I'M SORRY THAT I CAN'T GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE,
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU ARE THE ONE HURTING NOW,
NO LONGER IS IT ME...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU ARE THE ONE CRYING...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONE I WANT TO SEE...
YOUR HEART IS SLOWLY DYING...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU KNOW HOW IT FELT TO BE ME...
I'M SORRY THAT YOUR GAME IS NO LONGER FUN...
I'M SORRY THAT NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO SEE...
YOU NO LONGER ARE "THE ONE"
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I think about you all day and night
I know it's wrong but it feels so right.
Every time that you are near
I feel that I have nothing to fear.
I want to tell you, but I know I never will
Yet, my love for you runs deep, still.
I can't seem to get you out of my mind
You're the one my heart's always longed to find.
From the way that you look into my eyes
All I want is to stop telling you these lies.
As I gaze back, I need so much to hold you tight
My feelings for you I can no longer try to fight.
I see you down the hall and my blood runs cold
I want nothing more than your hand to hold.
I want to tell you, oh, so bad
But the fact that I can't, makes me forever mad.
I need to have you by my side
My feelings for you I shall continue to hide.
I want you to kiss away my tears
While getting rid of my many fears.
I wish that you could one day see
I hope you and I could some day be.
I love you more than you could ever think
When I look at you I can't bare to blink.
Your eyes pierce me at the very sight
I try to stay strong with all my might.
What I need you to know
Is that I do love you so.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Ambitious and serious
Loves to teach and be taught
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
Likes to criticize
Hardworking and productive
Smart, neat and organize
Sensitive and has deep thoughts
Knows how to make others happy
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
Needs to improve social abilities
Loves reality and abstract
Intelligent and clever
Quiet, shy and humble
Low self esteem
Honest and loyal
Determined to reach goals
Rebellious when restricted
Too sensitive and easily hurt
Showing anger easily
Dislike unnecessary things
Loves making friends but rarely shows it
Daring and stubborn
Realizing dreams and hopes
Loves entertainment and leisure
Romantic on the inside not outside
Superstitious and ludicrous
Learns to show emotions
Shy and reserved
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
Loves peace and serenity
Sensitive to others
Loves to serve others
Not easily angered
Appreciative and returns kindness
Observant and assess others
Loves to dream and fantasize
Hasty decisions in choosing partners
Loves home decors
Loves special things
Active and dynamic
Decisive and haste but tends to regret
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Friendly and solves people's problems
Brave and fearless
Loving and caring
Suave and generous
Motivate oneself and the others
Sickness usually of the head and chest
Easily get too jealous
Stubborn and hard-hear ted
Strong-willed and highly motivated
Attracts others and loves attention
Beautiful physically and mentally
Needs no motivation
Systematic (left brain)
Loves to dream
Sickness usually in the ear and neck
Good debating skills
Loves literature and the arts
Dislike being at home
Not having many children
Thinks far with vision
Easily influenced by kindness
Polite and soft-spoken
Having lots of ideas
Tends to delay
Choosy and always wants the best
Funny and humorous
Loves to joke
Good debating skills
Knows how to make friends
Able to show character
Prone to getting colds
Loves to dress up
Seldom show emotions
Takes time to recover when hurt
Those who loves me are enemies
Those who hates me are friends
Difficult to fathom and to be understood
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Concern about people's feelings
Unpredictable and temperamental
Moody and easily hurt
Witty and sarky
Neither forgives nor forgets
Caring and loving
Strong sense of sympathy
Judge people through observations
Loves to be alone
Always broods about the past and the old friends
Likes to be quiet
Waits for friends
Not aggressive unless provoked
Loves to be loved
Easily hurt and takes long to recover
Puts in effort in work
Loves to joke
Suave and caring
Brave and fearless
Firm and has leadership qualities
Knows how to console others
Too generous and egoistic
Takes high pride of oneself
Thirsty for praises
Angry when provoked
Careful and cautious
Loves to lead and to be led
Loves to dream
Talented in the arts, music and defense
Sensitive but not petty
Poor resistance against illnesses
Learns to relax
Hasty and rushy
Loving and caring
Loves to make friends
Suave and compromising
Careful, cautious and organized
Likes to point out people's mistakes
Likes to criticize
Quiet but able to talk well
Calm and cool
Kind and sympathetic
Concerned and detailed
Trustworthy, loyal and honest
Does work well
Clever and knowledgeable
Loves to look for information
Must control oneself when criticizing
Able to motivate oneself
Loves sports, leisure and traveling
Hardly shows emotions
Tends to bottle up feelings
Choosy especially in relationships
Loves wide things
Loves to chat
Loves those who loves him
Loves to takes things at the center
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hurt but recovers easily
Seldom helps unless asked
Does not care of what others think
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring
Touchy and easily jealous
Just and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence
Has a lot of ideas
Difficult to fathom
Unique and brilliant
Fine and strong clairvoyance
Can become good doctors
Careful and cautious
Dynamic in personality
Knows how to dig secrets
Less talkative but amiable
Brave and generous
Stubborn and hard-hear ted
If there is a will, there is a way
Never give up
Hardly become angry unless provoked
Loves to be alone
Thinks differently from others
Does not appreciates praises
Well-built and tough
Deep love and emotions
Uncertain in relationships
Honest and keeps secrets
Not able to control emotions
Loyal and generous
Active in games and interactions
Impatient and hasty
Influential in organizations
Loves to socialize
Loves to be loved
Honest and trustworthy
Short tempered and egoistic
Takes high pride in oneself
Loves to joke
Good sense of humor
Saturday, October 10, 2009
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
Does your name begin with: B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an ___expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your ___expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.
Does your name begin with: C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
Does your name begin with: D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .
Does your name begin with: E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)
Does your name begin with: F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.
Does your name begin with: G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
Does your name begin with: H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.
Does your name begin with: I
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of ___expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.
Does your name begin with: J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
Does your name begin with: K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your ___expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".
Does your name begin with: M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.
Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.
Does your name begin with: O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.
Does your name begin with: P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.
Does your name begin with: Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
Does your name begin with: R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
Does your name begin with: S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
Does your name begin with: T
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life. !
Does your name begin with: U
You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.
Does your name begin with: V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
Does your name begin with: W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.
Does your name begin with: X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.
Does your name begin with: Y
You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
Does your name begin with: Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.